The shirt says it all!

This is the story of my life right now. Tanner seems just to wake up more and more every night - thereby severally limiting my precious beauty sleep each ninght. While he does always go back to sleep, he usually wakes up anywhere from 3-5 times a night. By 4 or 5 in the morning, I'm usually so tired that Anthony tries to pacify him w/ the pacifer, but the magic of the pacifier is slowly diminishing as Tanner holds out for more the real goods - more milk. So what ends up happening is both Anthony and I aren't getting any real sleep!

People keep saying that one day they'll just sleep through the night - but I wondering how much longer do I have to wait? And in the meantime, how many bad habits am I establishing that I'll just have to break later?

But as a positive note, sometimes I just love this time with him. He'll just fall asleep in my arms and I just have to hold him a few extra minutes - or sometimes longer. I've been known to fall asleep on the couch too. But I just love to stare at my baby in amazement and remember how precious he is.

PS - This is what I pray for every night.

Picture Day

Well, older kids always have picture day at school every year, but why can't younger kids too? Do you ever feel like your kids are so cute that you end of snapping tons of pics of them? Well - I do all the time - and hence the millions short of him in this outfit in one sitting. I love sweater vests - and who says they don't make cute little boy clothes? Now granted, you do have to look harder for them, but there's still plenty out there.

In just a minute, he makes tons of expressions, but my favorite are the open mouth smile with the tongue sticking out. This is the latest specialty from Tanner. He just loves to smile with his tongue.

4 Months!

I just LOVE this stage! Tanner is just so cute and adorable. I know I keep saying that, but it's true! And he knows it too...just look at these pics. He just loves the attention. I just hate to put him down and love spending every minute with him. I love to just sit and chat with him. He just basks in all the attention - smiling, squeling, and laughing in delight. When he gets really excited, he does this kinda bashful/shy laugh where he turns away and crunches up his body and smiles. One of these days I'll try to get it on camera.

He also is full of expressions, whether happy or sad. Right before he starts to cry, he sometimes has a frown on his face and he looks so sad - anyone couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

Fingers

Nothing has changed, Tanner is still obsessed with his fingers. Instead of being satisified with one of them, he's still trying to figure out how to get them all in his mouth. But they are his favorite toy and keep him plenty pre-occupied.

Bath time!

Tanner still loves his baths...and it might possible be the favoite part of the day. He just kicks and splashes all over the place. Mommy and Daddy are usually wet too once he is done with his bath. I think he's outgrown his infant bath tub, but he's so active I can't imagine trying to keep ahold of him any other way. He gets a nervous when there's water on his face and immediately tenses his entire body, but a second later he's back to splashing away.

When his bath is over, he knows it's bed time. He's not happy again he gets to eat and lay down in his bed. But it makes it so easy to lay him down at night...he practically puts himself to bed.

More Halloween Pics!

I just can't get enough of all these cute Halloween pics of Tanner! On Halloween night, we visted a few of our close neighbors. He was really tired so we only made it to a few of our friends house, but that was all I was wanting to do anyhow. We didn't really "trick or treat" cause I refused to take the candy - we all knew I would end up eating it. And the rest of the night we stayed at home and handed out candy to all the other little kids. We have lived in our house for almost 4 years and this was the first year we were actually at home on Halloween night.

The next night we went to a Halloween Party with some of Anthony's friends he grew up with. It was a costume party - and as a last minute spur of the moment idea - we decided to dress up as each other. I found a maternity outfit that fit him. He had several conditions - like no make up. And we couldn't find a wig, but I did find a bright pink head band that topped it off. And of course he stuffed his shirt with some socks just like any other 12 year old girl. He thought all the clothes were very revealing and showed each part of his body - but welcome to the world of being a girl. And overall, he pulled it off and looked very cute! Anthony refuses to let me post any pics. Tanner stayed at home with Aunt Katelynn. She's the baby of the family so I don't think she's ever babysat a little kids before, let alone a baby. She actually volunteered & did a great job with him - thanks Katie!

Rollover Beethoven! - Nov 1st

Tanner was exactly 4 months old when he mastered the art of rolling over. He was so cute!! When I placed him on his tummy, he immediately kept rolling over and smiling. He just kept doing it and doing it - like 6-7 times in a row. I thought for sure I would be able to get it on tape. And I did, but my camera ran out of memory and didn't save it. So you'll just have to settle for his sub-par performance. He still is so close - he rocks to one side and then the other. But at this point, he was just getting bored with it.

Big Boy Tanner! - Nov 3rd

Tanner had his 4-month check up today. And it just confirmed what I already knew - Tanner is just a big little boy!

So here's some statistics - just in case you're curious:

Weight - 17 lbs, 1 oz - 90th percentile
Height - 26.5 inches - 93rd percentile
Head - 42.2 cm - 50th percentile

I love his peditrician. She always makes be feel so much better about everything (I tend to worry too much).

Lately I've been obsessing about trying to get Tanner to sleep through the night. He really hasn't made any significant process, but usually goes anywhere from 5-7 hours between one feeding. But he usually goes to bed at between 7-8 so I'm usually still feeding him 2 times a night. And when I have to get up early for work, it's not fun. Last week was hard for me. Do you ever have those weeks when even the smallest of tasks seems daunting? For me, it's usually just a sign that I need more sleep. I was very thankful for the extra hour we all got with day lights saving.

But Dr Curtis reassured me that the average baby only sleeps 6-7 hours a night...and not the 10 like I keep hoping one day he'll just magically do. And I still can't seem to bring myself to let him cry it out yet, but she said oftentimes parents create a bigger headache for themselves as they don't follow through with it (i.e. they let their kids cry for 30 minutes but then finally give up and rescue them) - which only further reinforces the crying. I'm not quite ready to try this approach, but I've learned that you can never say never as a parent - desperation can easily change your percention.

Roar! - Oct 24th

Tanner was a dinosaur for his very first Halloween! And I would have to say he's the cutest, friendliest little dinosaur I've ever seen.

Being at the Halloween party made me think of all the crazy outfits we dress our kids in. Most of the kids were only in the costume for a few pics and then taking them off, but Tanner is young enough that he doesn't know any better. But it's Halloween mostly for the parents, anyhow? I mean, who really ends up eating their toddlers' Halloween candy??? I actually think he really enjoyed it and was really happy in his costume - other than the few times the hood part was covering his eyes. But the majority of the time he was sticking out his tongue and trying to eat his zipper or dino paws.

I tried to tell Anthony I wanted him to dress up as a dinosaur too to match Tanner - but he wanted no part in dressing up as Barney ~ which we both agree is very annoying. I remember my youngest sister Katelynn watching it all the time, and yes, it's still around. And little kida love it. I'm hoping never to expose him so he won't know what he's missing.

Profile view

Tanner & Daddy
Tanner, Avery, & Me

Tanner's friend Jonathan & cousin Avery

Work

Working has put a seriously damper on my blogging - but I still want to be able to keep track of all the cute things Tanner is doing - which is the main reason why I created this blog. Yes, it's fun that other people get to see a snap shot of our lives...but years later, I want to be able to remember every stage of his life. And as another added bonus, I've found blogging to be very theraputic. After you blog about something, I naturally feel better.

For those who keep asking, work has continued to go well. At times I feel that something most be wrong with me or I must not be a good mom - but part of me really does enjoy working. And I've realized being home over the past several months how hard it is to be a stay-at-home mom. It's nice to get out of the house and interact with other people. But the hardest part is balancing everything - still being a mom, cleaning the house, cooking dinner, and keeping up with work. At the end of every day, I'm exhausted. And it's only been two weeks. And the guilt. Every time I leave Tanner I feel guilty. I know he is in excellent hands - which is part of how I can rationalize leaving him - but I can't help but feel guilty. So when I am home with him, I feel bad putting him down for a second and just hold and cuddle him as much as possible.

I still feel like many things have fallen into place at work. After my first week back, I was feeling overwhelmed with staffing for one of my largest engagements. I was hoping to have the same team as last year, but for multiple reasons, hardly anyone is going to return. I started to think no one liked working with me - but that quickly came to an end when I was voted "Coach of the Year" by my collegues. It's like the people's choice award they give out each year for people that take time to coach, develop, mentor the staff they work with. And along with it came a bonus and an extra day off. It made by day!!

And the company is rolling out a new HR inituitive called Mass Career Customization. It's based upon a book - and I could spend hours explaining it - but the author works for Deloitte. Essentially, the corporate world has recongized how much work-life balance means to it's employees and allowing a corporate lattice approach rather than the traditional corporate ladder to allow people to have more flexibility w/o sacrificing career goals. I can more easily see myself "dialing down" and take on less responsibilities without it negatively reflecting on my performance.

But I'm sure the newness of going back to work will quickly come to an end and there will be many rough days ahead. But like anything else, you just have to take it one day at a time.

My little Tanners

Tanner is seriously getting cuter everyday! Just when I think his cheeks can't get any bigger - they keep chetting chubbier. But he has the roundest, happiest face when he smiles - and it melts my heart everytime he smiles. When I talk to him, he just squels in delight and I absolutely love it. He sounds like he's trying to have a conversation with me and telling me about his day. I love his adorable little baby sounds. While his cry is pretty melow and a low rumble, his little squeels and shouts are so high pitched.

He's still a chunk, but he's really strong too. Give him another week or two and I think he'll be sitting up. I joke that he's going to be sitting up before he can rollover on a consistent basis. And he's not a big fan of lying down on his back or tummy - I think he associates lying down with naps so he has a natural aversion to it. But he loves anything were he can sit and watch all the action. Even when you hold him, he loves to look facing out. His favorite new toy is the exersaucer - which allows him to stand and turn to face people. He now can recongize voices and will turn to look at them when they talk. And when you talk to him, you're usually rewarded with a great big smile.

He's still obssessed with his hands, but his love for his pacifier is quickly diminishing - which is making putting him down for naps more and more challenging. He usually takes several 45 min to 1 hours naps, but he's slowly starting to take longer afternoon naps. I just hope this trend continues!

Are you ready for some football??

Tanner loves to watch football. Everytime it is on, he'll sit for over an hour on someone's lap and just be totally content watching the tv. Some people may say he's too little to actually watch the tv, but when you have a big screen like ours, you can see if from anywhere in the room. Tanner likes football so much that we think one day he'll want to be a linebacker - which explains why he's packing on the pounds :)

Tanner & Uncle Collin
These days football is really the only thing that is on the tv. Anthony spends his Saturday's "studying" (i.e. watching all the latest college football teams) while he happens to have a book in his hand.

We were debating on going to the BYU vs TCU in Ft Worth a few weekends ago, but after watching the game on tv, were glad that we decided to stay home. No one wants to pay $$$ to see BYU get creamed and have the longest college football winning streak quickly come to a humiliating end. So maybe next year!!

Tanner & Grandpop Knick